“A scoundrel and villain, who goes about with a corrupt mouth, who winks with her eye, signals with her feet and motions with her finger, who plots evil with deceit in her heart – she always stirs up dissension. Therefore disaster will overtake her in an instant; she will suddenly be destroyed – without remedy. There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him; haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a person who stirs up dissension among family.”

Proverbs 6:12-19

If I were going to put together a list of things that I thought the Lord hated, they would all be things I don’t do! I would choose the most heinous of crimes like incest, child abuse, murder, rape, etc. I am sure God does detest those things, but they don’t make this short list. What fascinates me about this list is that it is full of things most of us do a lot! Who hasn’t been proud? Who hasn’t lied? Who hasn’t plotted something to her own advantage? Only one item, “hands that shed innocent blood,” does not apply to the majority of us (unless you count flies among the innocent).

I’m sorry to say that women are very adept and even renown for many of these seven detested sins. In fact, I bet we all know someone that fits the description quite well.

Maybe we have one friend in particular who always seems discontented with the world. She is always bragging about her own success (“I’m really good at…”), but cannot tolerate even the humble success of anyone else. (“She thinks she’s hot.”) When even the nicest of people come to work or school dressed nicely, our friend has to pick apart their choice of clothes. She talks as if she can’t stand them, but when they come around, she gushes at them with an insincere, “You look so nice today. I love that dress!” She shoots us a sideways glance as if to say, “Yeah, right!”

Our friend tells us what other people say about us, making us doubt our relationships with them. We have a sneaking suspicion that she is pleased with herself when she can come between us and another friend. However, even after she destroys our relationships, she will remain “friends” with the ones from whom she alienated us – leaving only us out in the cold.

I have to ask: Why are we friends with this person? Maybe because she’s fun, she’s popular, she’s eager to be friends with us? The risk of such a friendship is that we will be pulled into her schemes – as either a co-conspirator or a victim.

Actually, the term “friendship” does not apply with this kind of person. We can have a relationship, but such a person is not capable of being a friend and, for this reason, she is to be pitied. Until she changes her divisive nature, she will never have a true friendship. Despite how we want to be a true friend to her, she will not return that love to us.

If we have the inner strength to sustain a relationship with such a person out of compassion for her and in hopes of being a positive influence in her life, we have to be aware of the risk we are taking. Anyone is fair game to her. This person in whom we have emotionally invested may turn on us and try to ruin us. If that happens, we can weather the storm with wisdom. She, on the other hand, will be ruined by her own behavior. It may be years down the road, maybe not until she’s old and has ruined her own children’s lives, but the consequences in the proverb are clear: disaster will overtake her. “She will suddenly be destroyed.” Take care not to be so close to this person as to become collateral damage in her certain personal catastrophe.

Hold this thought: I don’t want any part of dishonest and divisive schemes.