Seeing Spots in Scranton

Dear Gabby, 

I bought a pair of expensive jeans that were a little impractical but fit so well I had to have them! But the other night I spilled pizza grease on them and I can’t get the spot out. Help! What’s a girl to do?

– Seeing spots in Scranton

 

 

Come now, let us reason together,” says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.”

 Isaiah 1:18

 

Dear Seeing Spots,

There, there now Spots. Let’s stay calm. Have you tried praying over your stain before washing it? Yeah, I bet you did! So if phase I didn’t work, then we’ll have to assume God’s going to make you work for this. SO, roll up your sleeves and let’s get started. Now, I suggest you take a de-greasing cleanser like Dawn dish soap or Dawn Power Dissolve and try rubbing some directly into the grease stain. You don’t have to wet them or anything. And don’t be shy about it. Add soap and rub! But make sure you test an unseen area for color-fastness first – you know, somewhere down by the hem in the back. Now let it sit for a while – 15 minutes or so – before laundering as usual. If you have any friends who use industrial de-greaser for their line of work that they could recommend, you could try that as well. Or ask at your local hardware store or Home Depot. Think of all those mechanics and plumbers out there! Just always make sure to do a color test first. 

Don’t worry that you’ve already washed the pants. It can still work on the second go-round. Now try the prayer thing again – leading with a solid dose of humility for being a noodle for overpriced vanity clothing and following with gratitude for all the wonderful, non-material things God has blessed you with. Don’t feel too bad though, just about every human’s had to make this prayer at some time – usually right after we walk out the door wearing it for the first time. (Gabby’s generally involve expensive, impractical foot wear.) As for me, I usually add a quick prayer that canine chew marks on shoes could become fashionable.  Maybe spotted jeans will become the new acid washed!! Who knows? But what Gabby is sure of is that it isn’t God’s intention for us to not want nice things or to abstain from material things that make us happy. That grease stain (or bite mark) is just God’s way of helping you keep it all in perspective. So think of that pizza stain as a divine “Hello?!” and you’ll be fine. Looks like if we’re going to spend extra money on something, we also have to be willing to OWN that choice and take extra care – otherwise we should stick with our old Levis.  Now- don’t forget to end with a quiet “hallelujah”  because GOD is GOOD and LOVES YOU regardless of what jeans (or shoes) you’re wearing, how good they look on you or what condition they’re in. Really, really! Then you have to hang on to hope and wait and see what the laundry reveals!  May God work a miracle in the dryer for you!

 

Sincerely,

The Gabster

 

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